Lancabomtjonhadhot is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate dove.

Lancabomtjonhadhot created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lancabomtjonhadhot, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lancabomtjonhadhot, she will not invite you to parties.

Lancabomtjonhadhot's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Lancabomtjonhadhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed lots of lemons to great tits while wearing brown tights.

5. Do not shave your chest.