Ligpakdag is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, slow mole.

Ligpakdag created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligpakdag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ligpakdag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ligpakdag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ligpakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.