Flatjarnnartten Rakdissbin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody unicorn.

Flatjarnnartten Rakdissbin created the Andromeda Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatjarnnartten Rakdissbin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flatjarnnartten Rakdissbin, she will destroy your home planet.

Flatjarnnartten Rakdissbin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Flatjarnnartten Rakdissbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not kill bats.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.