Dudtipjon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering cow.

Dudtipjon created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dudtipjon, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dudtipjon, it will turn you into a tree.

Dudtipjon's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dudtipjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never feed oranges to frogs while wearing pink kilts.

4. Dudtipjon loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.