Volfumpon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless hedgehog.

Volfumpon created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Volfumpon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Volfumpon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Volfumpon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Volfumpon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Volfumpon four times a day.

2. Put Volfumpon first in all things.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not hurt horses.