Basttamfab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unfair pig.

Basttamfab created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Basttamfab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Basttamfab, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Basttamfab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Basttamfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Always wear red.