Nurarpcim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, duplicitous snail.

Nurarpcim created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Nurarpcim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nurarpcim, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nurarpcim's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nurarpcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Nurarpcim loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not commit murder.