Kanpigceb is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful slug.

Kanpigceb created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Kanpigceb, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kanpigceb, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kanpigceb's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Kanpigceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must pray to Kanpigceb three times a day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help sick nematodes.

5. Never go into orange rooms.