Rowxinpop is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, annoying hamster.

Rowxinpop created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowxinpop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rowxinpop, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rowxinpop's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Rowxinpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed lots of gooseberries to manatees while wearing black scarves.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Rowxinpop.