Zigarfcum is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic mongoose.

Zigarfcum created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Zigarfcum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zigarfcum, it will curse you with boils.

Zigarfcum's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Zigarfcum's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Zigarfcum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.