Garpigcut is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, merciful hamster.

Garpigcut created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Garpigcut, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Garpigcut, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Garpigcut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Garpigcut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple turtles for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about spacetime near sharks while wearing gray dresses.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Garpigcut.

5. Run away from orange moths, for they are unholy.