Metrenbissbon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, moody mouse.

Metrenbissbon created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metrenbissbon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Metrenbissbon, it will turn you into a plant.

Metrenbissbon's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Metrenbissbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near porpoises while wearing gray ear rings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.