Bemlan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, temperamental guinea pig.

Bemlan created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemlan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bemlan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bemlan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Bemlan's Holy Commandments

1. Bemlan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near geese while wearing brown corsets and balancing nine tin spheres on your neck.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.