Milkamvag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, clever dove.

Milkamvag created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Milkamvag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Milkamvag, she will turn you into a frog.

Milkamvag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Milkamvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always wear black.

4. Milkamvag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.