Buswadnurlfab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody deer.

Buswadnurlfab created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Buswadnurlfab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Buswadnurlfab, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Buswadnurlfab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Buswadnurlfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Buswadnurlfab loves badgers, so they must be respected.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.