Beggutruttsandfig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, deceitful lobster.

Beggutruttsandfig created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beggutruttsandfig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Beggutruttsandfig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Beggutruttsandfig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Beggutruttsandfig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.