Kimpomdam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced gerbil.

Kimpomdam created the Milkyway six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimpomdam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimpomdam, she will turn you into a goat.

Kimpomdam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kimpomdam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Do not chop down trees.