Gamcudpan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, fussy ant.

Gamcudpan created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamcudpan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gamcudpan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gamcudpan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gamcudpan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near dogs while wearing orange shirts and balancing four titanium spheres on your neck.