Flatfoss is a god.
It takes the form of a very long, bad-tempered
dove.
Flatfoss created oxygen seven billion years ago.
If you believe in
Flatfoss, it will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Flatfoss, it will laugh at you.
Flatfoss' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.
Flatfoss' Holy Commandments1. Never look in ponds.
2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.
3. Always help swans.
4. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Flatfoss on top of important buildings.
5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.