Lannartvin is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, merciless raven.

Lannartvin created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lannartvin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lannartvin, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lannartvin's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lannartvin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always help cats.

3. Hide from gray great tits for they are unholy.

4. Always obey Lannartvin's priests.

5. Never play with disobedient children.