Lamyattshav is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable otter.

Lamyattshav created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lamyattshav, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Lamyattshav, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lamyattshav's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lamyattshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.