Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, strong salamander.

Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart, it will have a low opinion of you.

Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Nartlenhandinfemvagbestmum Zigkar Stigrillart in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never go into orange rooms.