Hastettinurlteen is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking spider.

Hastettinurlteen created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hastettinurlteen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hastettinurlteen, he will manifest in front of you.

Hastettinurlteen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hastettinurlteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Hastettinurlteen's priests.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. Never play with disobedient children.