Pittenton is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful mink.

Pittenton created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pittenton, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pittenton, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Pittenton's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Pittenton's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Pittenton on top of important buildings.

2. Run away if nine geese approach from the west.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.