Barnwanflig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, loving chicken.

Barnwanflig created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnwanflig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Barnwanflig, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Barnwanflig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Barnwanflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not take Barnwanflig's name in vain.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always obey Barnwanflig's priests.

5. Do not drink alcohol.