Binpantam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil octopus.

Binpantam created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Binpantam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Binpantam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Binpantam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Binpantam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Binpantam nine times a day.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Binpantam.

5. Do not stand on grass.