Nigbidpit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable turtle.

Nigbidpit created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Nigbidpit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nigbidpit, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nigbidpit's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nigbidpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black shoes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Nigbidpit loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Sheep are not to be trusted.