Titgebflam is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, caring lizard.

Titgebflam created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Titgebflam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Titgebflam, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Titgebflam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Titgebflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Never wear blue rings.