Gadnurlbell is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent lion.

Gadnurlbell created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadnurlbell, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gadnurlbell, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gadnurlbell's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gadnurlbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near seals while wearing mauve boots and balancing four iron spheres on your back.

2. Gadnurlbell loves doves, so they must be honoured.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gadnurlbell.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must never eat bananas.