Fidyognurt is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, prudent jaguar.

Fidyognurt created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidyognurt, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fidyognurt, it will throw large rocks at you.

Fidyognurt's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Fidyognurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Do not eat corn.

3. Always help moths.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing brown stockings and balancing eight zinc spheres on your back.