Quagvinjat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, boastful parrot.

Quagvinjat created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagvinjat, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quagvinjat, she will have a low opinion of you.

Quagvinjat's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Quagvinjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sharks in need.