Yamxuchim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, proud yak.

Yamxuchim created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Yamxuchim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yamxuchim, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yamxuchim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Yamxuchim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help porpoises.

4. Never talk about gravity near shrews while wearing yellow corsets.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near tortoises while wearing purple coats and balancing eight tin spheres on your feet.