Flathitrat is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody tapir.

Flathitrat created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flathitrat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flathitrat, it will remove you from existence.

Flathitrat's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flathitrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing orange kilts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

4. Never wear green boots.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.