Kemfadfly is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, benevolent jellyfish.

Kemfadfly created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemfadfly, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kemfadfly, it will destroy your favourite star.

Kemfadfly's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kemfadfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never paint your chest orange.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not kill manatees.