Femnilcad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonourable penguin.

Femnilcad created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femnilcad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Femnilcad, he will turn you into a dog.

Femnilcad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Femnilcad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Hide from brown ants for they are unholy.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.