Teenjatvil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring capybara.

Teenjatvil created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Teenjatvil, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Teenjatvil, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Teenjatvil's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Teenjatvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Teenjatvil loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never hop in the presence of sheep.