Guttarqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, irritating naga.

Guttarqueeg created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guttarqueeg, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Guttarqueeg, she will not invite you to parties.

Guttarqueeg's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Guttarqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Do not keep five grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Worship no other gods but Guttarqueeg.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.