Joncedwap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured sheep.

Joncedwap created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Joncedwap, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Joncedwap, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Joncedwap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Joncedwap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to dolphins while wearing yellow boots.

3. Always help bats.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.