Targlunlop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective troll.

Targlunlop created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targlunlop, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Targlunlop, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Targlunlop's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Targlunlop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Targlunlop five times a day.

2. Hide from red hamsters for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Targlunlop.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Do not make images of living things.