Bimstigfen is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud hydra.

Bimstigfen created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Bimstigfen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bimstigfen, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bimstigfen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bimstigfen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never wear purple rings.

3. Bimstigfen loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.