Hamstiktin Jannel is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, intelligent cat.

Hamstiktin Jannel created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamstiktin Jannel, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hamstiktin Jannel, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hamstiktin Jannel's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hamstiktin Jannel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

4. Never paint your legs blue.

5. Do not covet oxen.