Xucwad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak owl.

Xucwad created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucwad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xucwad, she will turn you into a dog.

Xucwad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Xucwad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Xucwad on top of all buildings.

4. Xucwad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not commit murder.