Garlaplam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical horse.

Garlaplam created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garlaplam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garlaplam, he will not care.

Garlaplam's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Garlaplam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

2. Never gather eight swans in one place.

3. Never wear red shirts.

4. Never mark doors with green.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.