Loophenyod is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, moody salamander.

Loophenyod created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loophenyod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Loophenyod, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Loophenyod's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Loophenyod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Never look in ponds.