Cubnigmab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing guinea pig.

Cubnigmab created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubnigmab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cubnigmab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Cubnigmab's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cubnigmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.