Zedvigarm is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty slug.

Zedvigarm created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zedvigarm, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zedvigarm, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zedvigarm's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Zedvigarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help sick ducks.