Madmonkon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, emotional squirrel.

Madmonkon created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madmonkon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Madmonkon, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Madmonkon's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Madmonkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to rats while wearing blue skirts.

2. You must pray to Madmonkon four times a day.

3. Run away if eight grasshopers approach from the east.

4. Never talk about ducks.

5. Madmonkon must be the most important thing in your life.