Zaktennaktonktapgepflat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented manatee.

Zaktennaktonktapgepflat created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zaktennaktonktapgepflat, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zaktennaktonktapgepflat, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zaktennaktonktapgepflat's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zaktennaktonktapgepflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

2. Do not prepare beans while filled with anger.

3. Always share strawberries with strangers, but never with swans.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Do not cook food in pots.