Sawnuttjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, witty mole.

Sawnuttjarn created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawnuttjarn, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sawnuttjarn, she will destroy your home planet.

Sawnuttjarn's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Sawnuttjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not hurt whales.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.