Babarmflam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient yak.

Babarmflam created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babarmflam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Babarmflam, she will be mildly annoyed.

Babarmflam's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Babarmflam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Never feed oranges to porpoises while wearing purple kilts.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Never talk about capybaras.