Tikgonbab Fedstanrap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent squid.

Tikgonbab Fedstanrap created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikgonbab Fedstanrap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tikgonbab Fedstanrap, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tikgonbab Fedstanrap's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tikgonbab Fedstanrap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always treat snails with great respect.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing orange boots and balancing three platinum spheres on your back.